29 today. If you would have asked me 5 years ago where I would be, this would not be it. I was on track to go to UW-Madison to obtain my PhD and directly after graduation I planned to apply for a professorship in Chemistry. I wanted to run my own research group, teach young chemists, and apply for grants. I will fully reflect on this probably in a few years from now, but I want to share something at the forefront of my thoughts. After 11 years of studying chemistry, I have made a conscious decision to switch careers. After I graduate in September 2017, my main career focus will be music.
Around September through November 2016 I was starting to become quite unhappy and feeling very unfulfilled in my work with chemistry. I had gone through phases before, but not like this. Naturally I entered a depression, but I was still functioning. My band was doing pretty well. We had a few gigs lined up and were starting to create a cohesive unit. Performing was the one thing that made me feel at home. On stage I don't judge myself. I serve the music and the emotion that comes with it, and it feels natural. My Mom told me recently that I always liked the spotlight. In December 2016 I went on a little trip up to northern WI with a friend of mine. We day drank and met a lot of new people and my brain got to settle. I experienced some inner silence and then I could hear it. I could hear myself yelling 'RUN'. I could hear myself yelling 'Do what you love' and the most important thing I heard was, 'Stop worrying about what others will think if you attack this dream. You are good at it. You enjoy it. You will regret it if you don't commit.' Was it my heart talking? I don't know, but it was really fucking loud. There was no partial commitment here. I told the Universe that I was doing it and that I was going to figure it out. Side note: If you were one of the people that told me to go for it and pursue this dream. You were right. Thanks.
Things started to take off since I made that decision. A couple of highlights: my band was nominated for a Wisconsin Area Music Industry Award for New Artist of the Year and we are playing the nomination party, my band now has 2 recurring gigs a month, I started a video series called Music Miles where I share music and stories with others, I started my first Music Miles LIVE venue for original music only, and I just booked my first Music Miles LIVE house concert. This new life of mine is taking a shape of it's own. I just keep doing what I love and then I adapt as opportunities arise. There is no better feeling than sharing music with someone and developing a deeper connection because of it. I feel so blessed that I've had the opportunity to experience this.
I can't wait to look back at this post in 5 years. I wonder what headspace I will be in then. One thing is for sure, I won't regret a single moment here. I am learning so much daily. I am in tune with my inner voice. The one thing that gets exhausting is living two lives. Musician at night and chemist by day. The musician side takes up a lot more energy now since I made the decision to pursue that. Trying to navigate through the chemistry dimension to graduate is a challenging journey on its own, but trying to start your own entertainment business and personal brand while trying to graduate is more extreme. I'm trying to do my best to not let that stress me out. I have racked up a lot of good chemistry and I have learned so much from this journey. I do not regret my time in graduate school. I am so close and just need to put my head down and push forward and finish. I will finish. I promised my mother I would.
